I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Randomize
