last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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