Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
