can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
