you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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