Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize