So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
