3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
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