Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
