he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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