problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
