apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
My balls are so social today.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
