Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
is that a dick in a sweater?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
