tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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