Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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