Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
