this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize