just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Randomize
