Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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