It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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