Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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