He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
you never un-have a 4some
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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