he thought i was a dude.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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