Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
