I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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