saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
there is glitter all over my balls
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
