i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
