isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
