dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
