Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
