she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
