New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
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