Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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