Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
