No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
