you guys were way drunker than both of me
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Randomize
