We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
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