a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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