Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
