hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
