How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize