I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
