idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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