I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
me + whiskey = a bad person
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
