If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
