Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
