So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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