If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Do vagina's smell?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
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