For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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