she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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