i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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