Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
