Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
