You made me cry and you don't even care
need another drink. this is the easiest way
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Randomize
