I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
