i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
