When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
