How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
