He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
