ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
