you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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