i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
You can't special order awesome
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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