It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize