Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
