oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
