she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
