Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
