I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
