Everything about him screamed your future.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
