white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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