shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
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