I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You need Xanax blowdarts
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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