My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize