Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
now i know why i became what i already was.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
