Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
You ate ashes out of my bong
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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