My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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