take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize