my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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