Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
