please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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