Sponge bath it is.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
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